Be Active, Not Passive

For Week Three of my 'Drafting Against The Dark Arts' class, I talked about linguistics. Yes, sounds awfully boring, but believe me, it’s eye-opening and career-changing.

And no HATERS allowed!

* * *

Writing, just like speaking, is an art form. Good writers treat style as important as – if not more important than – substance. It’s not what you say, but how you say it.

There many tips and tricks to writing well. Today, I’ll talk about one of the most fundamental rule in the book – using the active voice.

What's Active, What's Passive

The active voice is strong. The passive voice is weak.

Tell me, which sounds better:

• The venue of our class today will be the Chamber of Secrets.
• Class today is at the Chamber of Secrets.

And what about this:

• Attendance is encouraged.
• I encourage you all to attend.

And this:

• Punishment will be dealt towards those who did not prepare for class.
• Those coming to class unprepared will be punished.

Which has greater impact? Surely the active voice.

Two Voices, One Winner

'The Elements of Style’ by Strunk and White is regarded by many people as the landmark authority on good writing habits. It covers a whole range of topics; the superiority of the active voice being one of them.

There, Strunk and White breaks down the general differences between the two voices:

• The passive voice is less direct, less bold and less concise.
• The active voice is more direct, more bold and more concise.

The rule has exceptions, of course.

Earlier, I said this: “'The Elements of Style’ by Strunk and White is regarded by many people as the landmark authority on good writing habits.” That’s actually framed in the passive voice. The active voice would instead be: “Many people regard ‘The Elements of Style’ by Strunk and White as the landmark authority on good writing habits.”

Both sentences are fine. But the passive voice is arguably better here. Why so? Consider the subject of each sentence. The subject in the passive voice is ‘The Elements Of Style’, whilst the subject in the active voice is many people. Ideally, the subject should be given focus at the start of the sentence, even if it means using the passive voice.

Another exception is repetition:

• If every sentence uses the active voice, the passage would be boring, and its impact will be lost.
• A passage that uses the active voice in every sentence is boring and loses impact.

Here, the active voice is more direct and concise, but actually less impactful.

Slides keep students active and awake

Exercise

To wrap up, here’s a simple exercise.

Rephrase this sentence: “It is respectfully submitted by the Applicant that a grave mistake has been committed by the Respondent in relation to this issue.”

• It is the Applicant’s respectful submission that a grave mistake has been committed by the Respondent in relation to this issue.
• The Applicant respectfully submits that a grave mistake has been committed by the Respondent in relation to this issue.
• We submit that the Respondent has committed a grave mistake on this issue.
• On this issue, we submit that the Respondent has committed a grave mistake.
• On this point, the Respondent is gravely mistaken.

Here, less is more. Any of the last three sentences are good stuff, but the last one is my personal favourite.

Be the active voice. Be direct, bold and concise.