Why White Dudes Dating Chinese Chicks Make Me Sick

I can't help it. Whenever I see a white dude linking hands with a Chinese chick, I feel sick. Envy gnaws through my heart, tearing it asunder. My mind screams "Why, God, why?"

Take a look around you. Marriage between Caucasian men and Oriental women are commonplace, all over the world. But how often do you see a Chinese dude getting lucky with a white chick? Hardly ever. Even the ones born and bred in the West don't fare much better, and are easily upstaged by their peers of African or Hispanic descent.

It's not easy being a Chinese guy. Our pool is depleted from home-grown fishes, and the fishes elsewhere aren't biting our bait. There's clearly something wrong about us, something that we lack, in the eyes of the ladies. There are a couple damning stereotypical perceptions about us. But how far true are they? And if true, what should we do about them?

1. Are We Not Man Enough?

Small frame, small eyes, small all over. We're born this way. Chinese chicks can get away with it, because there's always a huge market for petite chicks. Whereas guys are meant to be big, strong and protective - so unless one is built like Bruce Lee, no girl will madly melt into your arms.

There's some biological factor in play, I'm sure. A woman, driven by her maternal instincts, wants a good mate with good genes to obtain good offsprings. Rightly or wrongly, the perception is that male perfection is epitomised by Norse gods or Greek warriors.

So how can we remedy such natural defects? Double eyelid surgery? Hair dye? Protein shakes? Works for some, but no thank you. I'll stay the way I am, and prove Master Yoda right in saying "Size matter not".

"Spartaaaaa!!!" is super sexy; "Chinaaaaa!!!" not quite.

2. Are We That Cheap?

Calculating and calculative - such are useful skills to improve one's business acumen, but less desirable when it comes to courtship. Ladies want to be spoilt by expensive gifts. There's no short of excuse or occasion to buy gifts - birthday, Valentine's Day, anniversary, make-up-after-fight, break up, I- thought-of-you-when-I-was-passing-the-florist. Gifts are a measure of a man's love for a woman.

It's somewhat true that Chinese men are cheap, in the sense that they are more prudent and restrained in gift-buying. To them, a relationship is an investment. And why not? They think towards marriage and family. They don't go for broke in the early passionate years of courtship on diamond rings, and instead prefer to save money for meaningful things, like housing and kid's education. They are determined to let their wives stay home, whilst they be the sole bread-winner.

Any woman who's looking for a serious relationship should aim for a Chinese man. Once they're into you, they in for the long-haul. They spoil their wives for a lifetime.

I consider myself rather generous with gifts and treats. But that's only because I have a loose sense of money and materialism. Instead, time is important to me. So when I sacrifice time for someone, it means I deeply care about that someone.

Even with a suit and tie, they don't look at us. They never do... they never do...

3. Are We Dead Boring?

Computer science, engineering, accountancy - that's the type of fields the Chinese excel in, and take up for a living. Boring jobs for boring minds. A dearth of creativity and spontaneity, however, does not bode well for romance. Chinese men just don't know how to ignite the flames of passion, do they?

Again, fair statement. Culturally, the Chinese tend to be shy, reserved introverts. Whilst they may be quick to throw a fit when annoyed, they are slow to gush out their emotions when love-struck. This can be frustrating for the woman, who expect to be showered with praises of unrivalled beauty and proclamations of undying love.

We're honest and sensible, that way. No false promises, no false expectations. Sorry, we can't pluck the stars from the night sky. Sorry, we can't get sneak into the toilet at the back of the plane and get down and dirty - it's against like, you know, against aviation protocol.

Personally, I don't think I'm a typical, boring Chinaman. Which is even worse, because non-Chinese ladies (and liberal Chinese ladies) assume that I am, and the typical Chinese ladies view my candid charm with deep mistrust. Hence, I end up impressing neither. Life sucks.

Keep Same And Don't Give A Shit

You know what? I really don't give a shit why people perceive Chinese men as lesser males. I really don't need to act out of character to prove anyone wrong, because that would mean it's right for people to stereotype me as a lowly Chinaman. If you can't see pass outmoded stereotypes, then you're not someone I like to be close with, anyway.

I'm born Chinese, look Chinese, may or may not act Chinese. Whatever, honey. That don't mean a thing.

I'm fine just the way I am. I don't give a shit if you think I'm not.

Whether you like or dislike this article, I don't give a shit.